Thankful Tuesday....

One of my girlfriends (I am stealing from you here Mel) does something called a Thankful Thursday but I feel that today, I need to steal it and do a Thankful Tuesday. I know that over the course of this pregnancy we have told many of you "thank you" so many times for your unwavering support but many of you will never know the extent of what that really means.

Today, I feel the need to say a special thank you to my husband. As most of you know, we lost our first child, our daughter Hope Noelle, an hour after her birth. Needless to say, being pregnant after such a devastating blow is not easy. This pregnancy, being the longest one I have ever experienced, has become very hard on me mentally. I have so many fears going into this that I can not begin to share them all, nor would I want to. I will share though, that my main fear revolves around her health. Let me clarify here, we have not received any news that would make us think that she is having any problems... I am just having fears based off of prior experiences.

My husband has been a blessing these last few days in keeping me grounded while at the same time letting me express my fears, my dreams, my wishes... letting me cry while making me laugh... letting me know that it is alright to be scared while reminding me that no matter what happens, we will love her just as much as we love Hope. My fears stem from what most of the world fears, all of the unknowns. While there are some people who are great at accepting the unknown and trusting in what comes with it, I have learned that I am not one of those people. I am one who has had so much go wrong that I worry until I see reason not to instead of being a person who doesn't worry until they have a reason to. This is where I am thankful for my Nathan... we talked this weekend and after talking, I did not walk away thinking my husband thinks I have fallen off of my rocker... what I walked away with instead was knowing that I am still married to my best friend and that I could not ask the Lord for a better person to be standing beside me as we approach the unknowns that are before us.

We still ask for your prayers and support as we are just weeks away from meeting our little girl!! I know that this will be such an exciting time for us but it will also be a very emotional time as we start down the path to parenthood again, a path we were on not too long ago.