A Letter For Chayse...

My dearest Chayse,
My beloved child. So much has changed in the last 365 days since you entered into this world. The pages of time are going by so quickly. One year ago, a miracle of God’s doing met us face to face at 2:56 am. It rained that day, and I held my breath as I pushed you out. You entered into this world quietly but you were ever so ready to face the world. Our eyes beheld you and nothing has been the same since. From the first moment I saw you, my precious daughter, I knew you were special. I honestly cannot believe that it has been a whole year since we were finally able to see your sweet face and were able to hold you in our arms. I was in total awe of you right from the first breath you drew. The first time I looked into your face, I knew I had been given something far better than anything I ever deserved… a precious and wonderfully made gift, directly from God. I was given you. My dearest Chayse, you have helped heal both of your parents and mend broken people. You see, when your big sister left this world, she also left us with broken hearts. I was not sure that they could ever be mended. My pregnancy with you was a sweet dream with no troubles or trials to overcome. As much as I worried about heart defects and Down Syndrome and kidneys and stomachs, I knew that no matter what, all of my worries would be worth it… the reward was at the end of the delivery… it was you.

Chayse the moment I saw you, I cried and I am sitting her crying now as I think about how much you have changed me. I used to sit every night and look at Hope’s urn sitting on the fire place and every night, it was all I could do not to cry. I would sit and stare at her for hours for it was all I could do. She was not here for me to be a mother to. With Hope, we missed so much and we you, we have grown so much. Learned so much. Loved so much. I know that Hope is so proud of you and loves you just as we do. You could not have a better guardian angel than her.

You have been such a treasure to watch every day and I am the luckiest person in the world because I get to spend every day with you. Leaving my career was the best thing I ever did, next to having you and Hope of course! The changes you have made over your first year of life have been amazing to watch. The new things you learn excite us every day. It has been a blessing to be able to watch you grow from a newborn into an independent one year old! Chayse you complete me in ways that I did not know that I needed to be completed. Watching you has been better than anything I could have ever thought of in my wildest imaginations. You make me a better person just by being in my world. I love you, sweet girl. I love you without needing anything from you in return... I just love you. I am so proud to be the one you call Mama. I love being your mother, your teacher, your healer when you hurt, your comfort in the night when you cry, your friend when it is playtime… I just love you.

Chayse Nicole, I pray you know how proud of you we are. You are a wonderful person and I am so glad that God chose me to be your mother, and for you to be my daughter. I would not change a thing about this past year. While I know that I am not a perfect person or mother, always know that I love you and will do anything I can to make your world and life as good as it can be. I cannot begin to imagine what you will learn and accomplish in the next year of your life. I look forward to many conversations with you. I look forward to seeing you interact as a big sister! I look forward to watching you accomplish many things in your lifetime. I pray every night that the Lord would bless your Daddy and I both with one more day with you, one more year, one wonderfully full lifetime with you. I love you to the moon and back sweet baby girl. My cup runneth over Chayse Nicole, my cup runneth over.
With love always,
Your Mama

Chayse Nicole Burgess

May 1, 2008

2:56 AM

7 pounds, 14 ounces

20.5 inches