Friday, January 1, 2010


Thinking back over the last 10 years, life has changed so much for me. I was in college and living the college life to the fullest when the year 2000 rang in. I remember the party that I was at for New Years, when the clock struck midnight, they turned off the power to scare everyone. If you remember, there was "rumors" that technology wouldn't be able to deal with the changing of the century numbers. Funny huh.
Over the last 10 years, my life seen so much. I have had some of the most emotional highs and have also been at my very lowest. The events were big for me... I had two breast tumors removed that were not cancerous, only to have my mother diagnosed with breast cancer 3 months later... I graduated college and then went on to grad school... I started my career in a 9-1-1 center... I got engaged and eventually married... My father was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer and passed away 11 months after his diagnosis... I had miscarriage... my first born child, Hope, was diagnosed with fatal health issues and passed away an hour after her birth... I fell into a deep depression that looking back on, I am surprised I survived as well as I did... I had another miscarriage... I got pregnant and gave birth to my second born, Chayse, which was one of the scariest and most joyous journeys I have ever been on... I quit my job to stay home with my baby girl... I got pregnant again and gave birth to our son, Garris... I reconnected with some of my friends from high school and rebuilt friendships from childhood... I lost many family members to cancer... I help to restart the ladies auxiliary at our fire house... I taught Sunday School at church... I stumbled in my faith... I have loved and I have lost.
Simply put, this was a very emotional decade for me and for my family as a whole. I failed miserably at some things but am proud to have overcome others. I will always have some things that I wonder what if about and I think that this decade will be one that I try to face head on and always stay positive... not live worried about the what if's. I miss my Daddy terribly and I wonder every day about Hope but no matter what I do, I cannot bring them back and I cannot change the fact that they are gone. I reflect on them with love and appreciate all that I learned from them. Everything that I have been through has been a lesson... some that I did not want to learn and other lessons that lead me in my footsteps everyday. The coming decade should be so much fun as this journey of parenthood continues. I look forward to every day with my greatest treasures in life... my husband, my children, my family, and my friends. God bless you all!
Happy New Year!